Placebo Effect
by Nikkolite
Summary: NaruHina. After Naruto comes across Shino and Kiba, things start to become hectic. They said Naruto's teenage hormones are going to be out of control. What's he supposed to do now?
1. The Dog and the Insect

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto - Masashi Kishimoto does.

**Summary: **After Naruto comes across Shino and Kiba, things start to become hectic. They said Naruto's teenage hormones are going to be out of control. What's he supposed to do now?

**Warning:** Rated **T** for sexual insinuation and brief language.

* * *

_**Placebo Effect**_

_Chapter 1_

If anyone in Konoha were to be asked if they knew a thing or two about me, they'd be able to have a list.

Of course, it's because most of the time, I tell them these things right into their faces…but there's also the recently announced secret that I was the only son of the great Minato Namikaze, which is something everyone in the village should already know by now. Heh.

The one thing that others _should_ already know (and by that, I mean _required_ to know) is that I _will _become the next Hokage. I've been promising this publicly ever since I can remember. It was my craving for acknowledgment and respect that lead me to believe that being Hokage would finally make the rest accept me. As I grew, however, I realized that to be accepted shouldn't be my motivation - it's to protect the well-being of those I care for. From then on, I tell others that I will become Hokage to assure them that the village will be protected _with my life._

Anyway, people should also know that I _never _go back on my word. None of the vows I've made in the past have been left unaccomplished. I even brought Sasuke back! (He's currently under surveillance. But if everything goes smoothly the next 2 weeks, then Granny Tsunade will free him from the officials. Finally, he and I can talk like we used to without having to be aware of weird black-suited spies with shades around us, one being that Ebisu guy).

Then there's this thing I do that ties in with it, and it's that I don't ever, _ever_…

…give up. I don't know how, so don't expect me to back down from _any_ challenge.

But I hate it when others take advantage of that. You know those kinds of moments where grown-ups take advantage of the fact that their children are young, so they can be bossed around? Kind of like how I always get the crappy missions back when I was still a genin because Granny Tsunade takes advantage of my wanting to become Hokage someday.

Well, one such day happened when I met up with Shino and Kiba.

"Oi, Naruto!"

I looked up from the scroll I was reading to find Akamaru with Kiba, who was waving madly at me (to think that he's an experienced chuunin now…he's still as immature as ever!). Shino was beside him, appearing with something in his hand.

I rolled back my scroll and approached them, saying my hellos. "So what're you guys doing here?"

Kiba shrugged. "Some stuff for the Aburame clan. I just accompanied Shino here," he pointed to his friend.

I turned my attention to what Shino was holding. "What's that?" I said, pointing to the item.

He raised his hand and uncurled it to show some sort of sugar bowl, shut with a lid. "_This_," he started, with that voice that makes you feel insignificant-minded, "is a container of one of my clan's antiquated and once-valued aphrodisiacs. It is a mixture of rare alkaloids, made through a convoluted process."

I nodded.

Of course. Why did I trust this guy to explain something in words I'd understand?

"It's for the insects that dwell inside our bodies. It's been recently confirmed that it is not as effectual to the insects as the clan deemed it to be, however, so it's no longer of any importance to us – naught of any real concern pertaining to your business, really." He slid his shades up the bridge of his nose, a gleam of light flashing shortly.

I turned to Shino's friend, hopeful that I might just find my way back from being lost in Shino's vocabulary with Kiba's more _modern_ one.

He merely shrugged. "I think it's an energy drink for his bugs."

I raised my eyebrow at Shino. "Energy drink, eh?"

Shino sighed and said, "You can say that…" then he murmured something that wasn't audible enough for anyone to understand.

For a lack of a better response, I merely said, "Cool."

Kiba started grinning and chuckling. "Hey, Naruto."

"What?" Both of his fangs were exposed - a sign that one should feel cautious about. Kiba's intentions are usually devious when he gives a guy that toothy smile of his.

"I dare ya to drink it," he said, pointing to the bowl.

I raised me eyebrow at him. Is he serious? "Um…no. Why should I? It's Shino's!"

"Come on, Shino doesn't mind, right Shino?"

"…I–"

"Of course he does! Besides, it's for his _bugs_! You wouldn't eat what Akamaru eats, would you?"

"..." His silence was a good enough answer to that question. _Ew_. He shook his head wildly and said, "That's beside the point! It won't be bad for you! I mean, Shino just said that it doesn't work!" He nudged Shino slightly. "Right, Shino?"

"I did state that, but–"

"See, Naruto? There aren't any reasons for you to _chicken out_!"

_Did he just…? _

That did it. I practically glared holes at Kiba as he waited for a response. "Chicken…out?" I snatched the little container from Shino's hands, took the lid off, and finished it all in one gulp, showing no signs of hesitation. The drink left a trail of odd sensations down my throat, though it didn't taste all that bad.

I shove the bowl to Kiba's abdomen, wanting him to see for himself that the bowl was completely empty, and that _I_ don't 'chicken out'…especially from such a little dare.

"Wooh! Didn't know you'd actually do it, Naruto," Kiba chuckled, taking the bowl from my hand.

"Still underestimating me Kiba?" I flicked my nose with my thumb. "I thought you already learned your lesson the first time?" The look on his face told me he knew exactly what I was talking about.

He simply chose to ignore it and ruffled Akamaru's head. He asked me, "So, what did it taste like?"

I rolled my tongue inside my mouth, trying to recall the taste. "It's…kind of like chocolate, actually." _Weird._

"Chocolate?" He cocked his head to the side. He took a sniff from the bowl. "Hmm…not what I expe–"

"This is bad."

Kiba and I switched our attention back to Shino. His eyebrows, which were practically the only things he had that express emotion, were furrowed together. "Naruto, it may have been a bad idea that you drank the whole aphrodisiac like that."

"Hm? Why's that?"

His shades gleamed. "Naruto, do you have a clue what an _aphrodisiac_ is?"

I shook my head. But I don't understand him most of the time, so it doesn't make much difference now, right?

"It is a substance that amplifies one's sexual desire."

I could've sworn my heart skipped a beat at that moment. _My…desire?_ My eyes were threatening to fall from their sockets.

Kiba decided to step in and said, "Wait a minute, you just told us that it doesn't work."

"Correct. It is ineffectual for the _insects_. A human, or any other living creature for the matter, has not ingested this aphrodisiac for centuries."

I gulped. "Wh-what exactly is that stuff made of? It's probably something that won't affect _humans_ the way they wanted it to affect _bugs_, right?" Suddenly, I felt a tingling sensation just below my abdomen, followed by a slight gurgle from my stomach.

_Oh great…_

"Actually, did you not inform us that you tasted chocolate when you consumed it?"

I nodded.

"This is a bad sign. Chocolate contains chemicals, most particularly theobromine and phenethylamine, which were recently suggested as sexual stimulants. Phenethylamine may have psychoactive effects in sufficient quantities. Chocolate can also manipulate the levels of serotonin, believed to be a neurotransmitter, in the modulation of aggression, body temperature, mood, appetite, _sexuality_…etc."

I could feel a bead of sweat trailing down the side of my face. He pretty much had me at 'this is a bad sign,' and the rest just made me feel worse. "S-so…what's going to happen to me now?"

He pushed his shades up with a finger. "You will have to deal with a magnification of your typical teenage hormones. For instance: when you see females, you will become more aware of their assets, some of which you may have not noticed from them before. You may have to be most careful about physical contact as well. Even the slightest touch from them may trigger your…_urges_."

"U-urges?" _What the… _"So you mean, I'll be a big pervert?"

"A bigger pervert than you already are," Kiba snorted. Akamaru barked in agreement.

"If that is how you wish to think of it as, then yes," Shino said.

"Then, I guess all I have to do is avoid girls, right?"

"That's easier said than done, Naruto. That may be impossible, unless you plan to stay at home to a certain extent."

"Well, how long until it wears off?"

"When it comes to chemicals like these, my insects' immunity to them is a great deal stronger than the typical shinobi." His eyebrows furrowed deeper. "It may take days, Naruto."

"DAYS!? What the hell!" I dropped down on my knees and placed my arms around his leg. "Shino, you have to have some kind of antidote for this! I can't live like that for _days_!"

"I apologize, Naruto, but I do not." He tried to shake me away from his limb. "We have not come across any problems like this before, so the clan did not bother to formulate a cure."

I stood back up. "Well then, I guess I have no choice but to stay home." Now that I thought of it, it did sound hard...

But as long as I at least have my instant ramen to keep me satisfied, then I can still survive. I started running to the direction of my apartment. "I better hurry before I run across a girl. See ya guys!"

I saw Kiba wave at me. "See ya, Naruto!"

_Kiba…_he was the one who started all this. I stopped and turned to face him. "Kiba, you're going to pay for this _big_ time!" I stuck my middle finger up to him briefly then turned back to run, but not before I heard him chuckle and murmur something to himself.

* * *

All that talk about chocolate is from Wikipedia dot org. For those of you who already know the truth about chocolate and all that chemical stuff, please don't say anything. The point of the story is that the truth will be revealed in the end.


	2. The Shadow and the Mind

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto - Masashi Kishimoto does.

**Summary: **After Naruto comes across Shino and Kiba, things start to become hectic. They said Naruto's teenage hormones are going to be out of control. What's he supposed to do now?

**Warning:** Rated **T** for sexual insinuation and language.

* * *

_**Placebo Effect**_

_Chapter 2_

Earlier that day, Granny Tsunade requested my presence in her office. I was looking forward to another mission, perhaps a high-ranking one this time. You can't blame me for expecting something like that. It was reasonable for me to think so, after all – I did manage to return Sasuke back and successfully defeated Akatsuki, didn't I?

Apparently, Granny Tsunade was just being a lazy-ass again. She only wanted me to go fetch a scroll for her on the very far end of the village. The scroll was some sort of report about something I could care less about. I decided to say no to her, but she immediately lifted up her chair, threatening to throw it at me – it turned out that she had a hang-over from the night before. Everyone knew that a Fifth Hokage who is experiencing a hang-over must never be messed with.

I did what the smart shinobi would do – I immediately ran to the other side of Konoha to get as far from her as possible…And that's where I coincidentally met up with Shino and Kiba; where I accepted a challenge I shouldn't have…

…and where I started to run from, trying my best to avoid girls while returning to my apartment.

--

At first, I thought about taking the path of the forest, where there were rarely any people. I doubt that I'd see a girl there…although I'm not sure about kunoichis. There would be chances where they'd be training there, but I could easily make myself inconspicuous (years of performing pranks have done that to me). After that, I'd leap off a tree to my apartment, which is basically touching the forest. _Heh. How easier can it get?_

Unfortunately, as I leapt from rooftop to rooftop nearing the forest area of Konoha, realization struck me when I noticed the scroll I was holding. "Oh crap. I still have to give this to Granny Tsunade!" How was I supposed to avoid girls when I was assigned to come back to one?

I landed on the forest ground and pondered for a good minute. I raised my head as a sudden snapping noise echoed softly from behind. I turned around to see Shikamaru, walking sluggishly. "Shikamaru?" _What's he doing here?_

He slowly raised his hand – his way of waving. "Naruto…what brings you here?"

I groaned. "A lazy-ass Hokage who just had a hang over, that's what." _It's her fault I was here in the first place_.

"I see. I'm assuming it has something to do with that scroll?"

"Yeah, it does. She said it's a report about some new discovery from a bunch of special medics."

"Ah, I've heard about that just a while ago."

I nodded. "What about you? Why are you here?"

Shikamaru sighed and scratched his head. "I was forced to help with some…errands. I had nothing else better to do anyway."

"Who were you helping?" Just as he was about to answer, an angry yell of his name came out from behind him.

"Shikamaru! Where the hell are you!?"

_Ino. _I only know two people who have the power to truly "force" Shikamaru to do things he doesn't want to do, including the Hokage. The person who was about to kick his ill-fated behind was no doubt his current girlfriend, team 10's female member.

_Female…_

"Oh no." I began to head towards the opposite direction. _Crap…I need to get out of here, quick!_

As I was about to take another step, my whole body tensed. My raised leg was forced down, then I stood up straight unintentionally. _Gah! What the…­_

"What's the hurry, Naruto?" Shikamaru asked. "You need to piss real bad or somethin'?"

I involuntarily turned around to face him, although I was willing myself not to. I briefly saw his hands in a familiar hand sign before he started to yawn. _Shadow possession? Damn it!_

Another yell from Ino was heard. "_Shikamaru!_"

_No!_ "Shikamaru, this seriously is _not_ a good time to stay and chat." Although it was no use, I still struggled to move from my spot.

"And why is that?"

I could hear the rustling of the nearby bushes growing louder.

I struggled further. "I…I can't explain it right now, but I really–"

"Is that you, Shikamaru? What the hell's wrong with you!? I was…"

_No, no, no! This isn't happening!_ I closed my eyes so I wouldn't be able to look at the newly-arrived Ino. At that moment, I desperately wanted to melt down to the ground until I reach another dimension. _Why Shikamaru and Ino, of all people?_ All I could do then was wish that Ino would not notice me.

"Naruto?"

Yeah…fat chance. I still kept my eyes closed and pretended not to hear her call my name.

"What are you doing here?"

I didn't reply. _Maybe she'd give up on talking to me after a while._

"Well, since you're here, and Shikamaru's being a total ass, can you come and do some stuff with me?" Her footsteps grew louder.

_Some…stuff with her?_ Well whatever she meant behind those words, I still chose to ignore her. After a few moments, I think she finally got the idea that I didn't want to talk to (or look at) her. Instead of leaving like I wanted her to, she grew irritated and I half expected her to clobber me like Sakura. She shoved something to my abdomen so hard I couldn't help but jerk my hands up to catch it and open my eyes.

I realized two things at that moment. One was that Shikamaru wasn't anywhere around, and I wasn't trapped by his technique any longer. The second one was that the girl I was trying not to look at before had her face mere inches away from mine.

Too close for comfort…

"Do you have _any_ idea how hard it is to get the right man these days?" she whispered huskily. I felt her warm breath pass my neck as she continued to glare at me. _Oh kami… _"You _will_ come with me, Naruto."

_Right man? She already has Shikamaru! She's not going to dump him for me, is she?_

I swallowed as she finally stepped back from the uneasy proximity of our bodies. I found out that I just missed another opportunity to run when I averted my gaze from her face, passed her chest, to her hands. They were in a hand sign I wasn't familiar with, but it was in a form of a rectangle…then it hit me – of course, it was too late for me to do anything (again, damn it!). My legs wouldn't leave their posts despite my efforts.

"Mind Body Disturbance Jutsu – specialized by the Yamanakas. But I won't force you to attack or anything." She removed her hands from the seal, but continued to talk. "Only this time, I can hold the jutsu for as long as I can in terms of chakra, without having to keep the hand seal. I can control your body's movement, like Shikamaru's Shadow Possession. Impressive, isn't it?" She winked as she placed her hands on her fully-developed hips, a pose that just screams "_How do you like me now!?_"

I swallowed again. "I-it is. But Ino, I _really_ can't sta–"

"You have no choice, Naruto." She repeatedly curled her index finger at me, and my legs obliged to her signal.

I couldn't help but think of the meaning behind her gesture. "Ino, I–"

"Shut up, Naruto, and be a gentleman for once!" She walked back to where she came from with me, following behind with an empty basket.

_Why me?_ I inwardly whined. I glanced at her back. Her blonde locks were long and straight, ending just below her rear end. I couldn't help notice how her perfect hips were swaying from side to side almost…_seductively?_ And her outfit…it wasn't covering much of her torso. My hands twitched a bit as I found it tempting to feel her abs, her back, her…

"_Urges…"_ Shino's forewarn suddenly came to mind.

I shook my head wildly. _I can't let her do this!_

"Ino, this is…inappropriate!"

She stopped walking, turning to face me. "Inappropriate?"

"YES!"

She raised her brow. "And how is this _inappropriate_, Naruto?"

I was surprised to know that she didn't think of it as such. "You're forcing me to have sex with you, and you're already taken! Why wouldn't it be!?"

An immediate blush came to be her response. "W-what…" Her face reddened, but I didn't know if it was from anger or embarrassment. Or both. "Naruto, that's not what I need you for!"

Confusion was written all over my face. With the way she acted and spoken, what else could it have been? "Then…what did you mean by 'the right man,' and 'do some stuff with you'?"

She growled and glared at me as she took a stance, ready to kick my unfortunate behind. "I just needed you to run some errands with me, idiot!"

_So there _was_ no meaning behind it…_

"Naruto, you perverted jackass!"

As much as I would've _loved_ to simply run away from her incoming assault, I knew I was still held by her jutsu.

But could she have somehow released me involuntarily because of her sudden burst of chakra and blinding rage? No such luck…

I screamed in agony as I was sent flying over the trees and buildings to the other side of town. As I was nearing the training grounds, I braced myself for the impact of the ground.

The element of surprise seemed to be against me today, as I hit my face on one of the wooden training posts instead. I flipped to the grass on my back, rolling over to cover my whole face, screaming in pain. I felt warm liquid and a growing bulge on my forehead against my palm. I couldn't open my jaw as far as I wanted.

Seriously, that experience could rival _Sakura's_ attacks.

"Naruto?"

I stiffened. _Speak of the devil_.

"What happened? Are you alright?"

Approaching footsteps finally brought me back to my senses. My soreness forgotten, I jumped up and backed away from my female teammate. "Sakura!" _No! Not her, too!_

* * *

Poor Naruto.

**TBC**

Grammar/spelling mistakes? Revision suggestions? Comments/Concerns? Submit them in a review, please :)


	3. The Rabbit and the Black Widow

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto - Masashi Kishimoto does.

**Summary: **After Naruto comes across Shino and Kiba, things start to become hectic. They said Naruto's teenage hormones are going to be out of control. What's he supposed to do now?

**Warning:** Rated **T** for sexual insinuation and language.

* * *

"Naruto-kun…"

I slowly opened my eyes to find out that I was sitting on a throne, topless, and resting on my chest was…well, me. The sexy-jutsu version – in all her naked glory, on top of me, and seducing me with a grin. I couldn't help but think, _Damn. I'm so good, even I'm tempted_.

Tempted. Right as that last word rung in my head, memories of the prior events came to me, and at that moment, the sexy-jutsu Naruto's grin turned into a grimace. Her hands quickly latched around my neck, squeezing the air from me. All my hands would do was to try getting hers off of mine, but they only became tighter. As my vision was succumbing to darkness, my tormentor slithered to my ear to whisper.

"Naruto-kun."

The throne I sat on started to fall back.

I suddenly got up to the feeling of falling, but before I could be relieved from knowing that it was all just a dream, my head collided with someone else's. "OW!" We both yelled.

Geez, why does the universe seem to want me in pain? I looked up, hands still on my throbbing forehead, to see who my companion was. It took a while for my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting of the room. The figure finally decided to look up.

"Hinata!"

"I-I'm so sorry, Naruto-kun! I was just…just about to apply an ointment on your cheek," she showed the ointment that was already in her hand as if to prove her words true.

"An ointment? How come?" I tried to feel my left cheek, then my right one immediately after, and sure enough, the cheek stung as my hand came into contact with it. I looked at the hand to find not just blood from my cheek, but also a bandaged wrist. _The hell? _Tracing my arm to my body, my eyes settled down to the lower portion of my torso, also surrounded with bandage. I looked to Hinata's direction and spotted small piles of used healing equipment, some of which were covered with blood. "Kami, what happened to me!?"

"Umm…" She hesitated. She was trying to look for the right words to describe such a bizarre incident. Who could blame her? No one ever thought a day would come when every girl in Konoha would go on a rampage over me. "Well, Tenten-san...she knocked you unconscious. That allowed the girls t-to beat you around for a bit."

I winced at the thought of my poor unconscious body being treated as a free-for-all punching bag. I'm actually glad Tenten knocked me out; otherwise I would have had to experience all the torture. I looked around frantically. "Where did they all go? How did I get here?"

Her eyes shifted to her palms, which were now on her lap. "Lucky for you, a few of the boys showed up…before every girl had a chance to harm you. Shikamaru-san took you in here. I-it's one of the Nara's guest rooms."

"Do any of the girls know I'm here?"

She decided to look at me. "As far as I know…I don't think so."

All my muscles released their tension. I don't remember the last time I was this relieved. "Where are the guys who saved me?"

"Shikamaru-san went to umm…to deliver your scroll and buy Chouji-san some dinner. Everyone else went home."

"Except you," I said, a bit confused as to why she stayed.

Even though the room was only lit by a small candle and the moonlight that shone through the open walls beside me, I could still see Hinata's trademark blush appearing. She looked down onto her lap. I realized then that she probably decided to take care of me, which only made sense; none of the guys probably held any interest in doing the chore. And Hinata was…well, she was her – always caring, always nurturing. I couldn't help but smile. "Thanks, Hinata."

"Not yet…" She reached out her fingers that were now covered with her healing balm. "I missed a spot," she said, her blush only increasing.

I let her fingers do as they wanted. I flinched a bit as the mint-like balm stung my cheek. Upon giving me a concerned look, I gave Hinata a reassuring one.

"If…If it's not too intruding, may I ask what…um…" She continued tending to my cheek.

"What the hell all _that_ was about?" I chuckled. She smiled as if she was embarrassed for me – her first smile of the night. "Long story short, I saw Kiba and Shino, and after Kiba dared me to drink something terrible, I've been…" My eyes grew wider. I quickly looked away from Hinata, leaving her work unfinished. _Shit. How could I forget! I'm not supposed to be around…_

"Naruto-kun?"

"Gahh!" I gripped onto my hair in frustration. _How could I forget that Hinata's a girl? I should go…_ "Hinata, I-" _No. That would be rude. How could I leave after she gave me medical attention? She'd be offended. But if I stayed…God knows what I'd do or say to her…then she'd be more offended._

"H-hey, what is it?" She sounded really concerned, which really did touch my heart.

_Touch…No, not innocent Hinata! But where the hell would I go if I do leave? This is the perfect place to hide from everyone – or rather, every girl…but Hinata's here! _"Gahh!" _What do I tell her?_

"Naruto-kun, do you need anything?" She touched my shoulder.

I flinched at the light gesture. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Oh, um…sorry." She immediately pulled away.

I looked up apologetically. "No no, It's not you Hinata, Kiba and Shino did this to me!"

"Did what?"

"Uhhhhh…" _Should I tell her? _I examined her moonlit face, looking for some sign, _any_ sign that things could go wrong if I told her. She began to blush again, but her eyes were looking at me with honest concern. _It's just Hinata, she's anything BUT bad…_I sighed in surrender. _Here goes._ "They made me drink…this thing..."

That got her attention. "What is it?"

"Some aphor…aphra…disc….thing." Her mouth opened in shock. "You know what I'm talking about?"

"An aphrodisiac? Are you sure?"

"If it's the thing that makes you…umm…as Shino said, have urges," I said, doing the quote in quote thing, "…then yeah."

Hinata closed her mouth and placed her hands on her cheeks. She was looking away now. "S-So…those girls…you…all of them…?"

I waved my hands in front of me frantically in denial, "No, no, no, no, no, no!" My voice cracked a bit. "I didn't do anything funny to them! I swear – all I tried to do was go home to avoid _any_ girl. But some…_cosmos_ guy out there thought it'd be funny if I accidentally encountered all of them inappropriately. So that's what happened…"

Hinata kept staring at the floor, wide-eyed and red cheeks hand-covered.

"…they were all accidents! And the aphrodisc just made the situations worse…" _Who am I kidding?_ I looked down, almost in disappointment. Hinata probably didn't want to hear it. It sounded like I was just making excuses, and that I was really just a big pervert.

Who could blame her?

"Sorry Hinata, I really should just get goi-"

"Aphrodisiac."

I looked at her. Between her hands that were still on her face was a small smile.

"It's pronounced 'aphrodisiac'. And I'm sorry that…all that happened."

"Aphrodisiac. Thanks Hinata." I was sure she knew that I wasn't thanking her for the pronunciation. I gave her a smile of appreciation in return.

She placed her hands down and placed an index finger on her chin. She looked like a cute thinking machine. "Well, if…if you'd like me to go, I could. And I'll do what I can to explain it to the girls s-so…they wouldn't think to…to form another angry mob."

"Hah!" I smiled even bigger, which I shouldn't have done as it opened the wounds on my cheek. I hissed at the pain as blood dripped down to my torso. "Man, talk about a cat fight – it's like the girls grew claws!"

Hinata immediately took a small towel and dipped it in a tub of water. She wrung the water out and gently placed the towel on my face. "Hold this, Naruto-kun." I did as she told me. She took another towel and performed the same routine. She was about to wipe the blood off of my chest but stopped at the last second. I looked at her confusingly, not knowing why she turned even redder. "S-Sorry, I'm babying you. Here." She held the towel in front of me.

I blushed a little at the thought of Hinata touching my bare chest. But then again, she already wrapped the bandage around me, which meant she had to have had contact with my naked torso already. I grinned as I decided to tease her a bit, slowly rejecting the towel. "Nah, I like it when you take care of me, Hinata. You just got this…magic touch, ya know? I mean look at what you've done so far," I pointed to my bandaged areas. "I barely feel any pain!"

"If…If you say so, Naruto-kun." She proceeded to wipe the blood away. And even though my face was angled to look at my body, my eyes were directed at her face. I stared all the while. I remembered the last time she was this close to me – it was during the Ninja War against Madara and Obito…she held my cheek, trying to knock some sense back into my head.

Thinking about it never fails to give me this overwhelming feeling of gratitude, because the memory reminded me of all those other times she tried saving me from my feelings of impending doom. That's right – the Chuunin written test, the Neji fight…when my mind's so busy and pressured from all the Hokage-in-training duties, I sometimes find myself thinking back to those memories. And then I think about her.

_Does Hinata know how awesome she is? _"Do you know how awesome you are?"

We both looked at each other with surprised gazes. _Did I just say that out loud?_ She looked away and brought the towel to the ground, finished with wiping off the blood. "W-what makes you say that?"

I scratched the back of my head in embarrassment. "Sorry, I was just thinking. You really know how to help a poor soul out, huh." She pointed to herself questioningly. "Haha, yeah you! I mean, you always seem to know just what to say and what to do to keep me from going downhill."

"I…umm…" Hinata's index fingers decided to dance around each other. "It's really nothing." She was being shy again.

I felt a bit heartbroken that she didn't seem to give herself the same credit, if any at all. I took one of her hands and placed it on the towel on my cheek. The same hand on the same cheek during that moment in the war. "Do you remember this?"

Her eyes widened, shocked at my actions. But she didn't pull away. "R-remember what?"

I looked right into her eyes. "When I was so shocked about Neji's death…when I thought that I was going to lose everyone the same way we lost him at the war…when I thought there was nothing we could do, and that giving up seemed like a better choice…then this happened. Remember?"

"I…yes."

She looked like she was threatening to faint, but her stare never faltered. It's a bit of a surprise that Hinata still kept her eyes on mine. I've never had the chance to look at them for this long; she always looked away before. Well, we did lock gazes during that moment, too, when she was trying to help me from being swallowed by fear…fear of losing my precious people. Her gaze was intense then, and it felt like it was lighting my insides on fire.

I had doubted myself, especially when what we were facing were the most powerful beings the earth could offer as villains of humanity. That time…she didn't remind me of my strength, no. I didn't know my strength. She told me that I shouldn't give up, and that alone made me stronger.

And I wanted her to know that.

"Hina-"

"Oi, I'm coming in, you guys better not be doing anything funny there."

_Shikamaru._

Hinata let out a small gasp and pulled her hand and her gaze away. The feeling of her skin under my palm was replaced by the towel on my cheek again. _Damn Shikamaru_. I glared at the sliding doors that he was behind in. "We're not sex hogs like you and Ino, baka."

He opened the door, came in, and slid it shut behind him. "Look who's talking. It's like it was mating season today in Konoha, and you somehow wooed every girl in town. Even my girlfriend's! Attention stealer. Tsk, troublesome."

I stood up and pointed at him in accusation. "You were the one who started all of it! If you just let me leave and did Ino's errands instead of being a lazy-ass, you guys would be having the night of your life right now, and I'd be home eating my ramen in peace!"

He sat down on the floor and scratched his head. "Calm your ass cheeks. I'm already making it up to you by letting you stay here for however long you need..."

I sat back down, crossing both my legs and arms. "Free food?"

"As troublesome as that is, yes."

"Good. Thank you," I straightened my back mockingly, "and I pardon you."

"Alright, high-and-mighty, but seriously, when will you be getting out of here?"

"Whenever the _aphrodisiac_ wears off." I made sure to say the word slower for Hinata to hear. I smiled upon hearing her giggle to the side.

"Aphrodisiac? How powerful is it?"

I shrugged. "Shino made it sound like it was going to be hell. Especially because he said it didn't work for his bugs, and his bugs are more immune to it."

"Are you talking about that old aphrodisiac that he was carrying back to the Aburame clan?" He asked.

"I guess that's what it was." Shikamaru just looked at me blankly. Then he slapped his forehead. "W-what?"

Sighing, he said, "Kami, Konoha's going down the drain with you."

"Hey! What are you trying to say!?"

"If you bothered to read the report you were delivering, which isn't even classified, allowing you, the future Hokage, to know what the hell is going on around here in the village, you'd find out that _that_ aphrodisiac is a fucking placebo!"

"A...a what?"

"Pfft!" I looked at Hinata, a bit shocked that the sound of trapped laughter came from her. She was now holding her lips shut.

Shikamaru held his temples with his fingers. "In other words, there's no point in you staying here. You can leave in the morning."

Panic once again invaded my head. "Wait, wait! Those girls will still be after me!"

"But at least you can look them in the eye without the threat of a boner." He stood back up and headed towards the door. "I honestly have no idea how you can stand this kid, Hinata."

"Woah wait, are you serious? Where are you going!?"

"I'm serious. I'm done. I'm gonna smoke. Good night." And with that, he shut the door, and he walked away.

I turned to Hinata. "What the hell is a placebo!?"

"Naruto-kun, a placebo is…is something people are given to affect the way they think. They're fooled into thinking that it works but…but really, it doesn't do anything."

My heart can't take all this shock in one day. "You've gotta be kidding…"

I stood up and slowly turned to look at moon between the sliding doors. I can see a face on it. It was laughing.

It was laughing at my stupidity.

I was furious. "I WAS FOOLED!?" I turned back to Hinata. "But…but there was chocolate in it!"

Her face shied away, as if scared to talk anymore. "Um…chocolates are also known to be…placebos…"

I stared at her blankly, and I just stood there. I stood there and waited for Hinata or Shino to come back and tell me that _they _were just kidding. I waited for the ground to swallow me whole. I waited for time to reverse to the moment I saw Kiba and Shino. But Hinata and Shino aren't the type joke like that. And the ground will stay still unless an earth-element shinobi made it move. And time never goes back – just forward.

And Naruto Uzumaki is more likely to be a fool than for any of those to happen.

I sighed in defeat as my knees and hands collapsed to the ground.

The soft noises of the crickets were all that remained. I couldn't wrap my mind around what just happened. I didn't know what to think. It was so quiet I could hear something drip on the floor.

"Ah! Your cheek!" Hinata took my hand that was still holding the towel and held it back onto my cheek. Apparently, it was still bleeding.

I sniffled. "No use, Hinata. I'm just going to get my ass kicked again tomorrow!" _Once I go back out there, it'll be hell on earth all over again_. "They can't just forget something like that; they still need to satisfy their sadistic sense of justice towards what I accidentally did..."

"No. I won't let that happen."

Again. Hinata was full of surprises tonight. I simply looked at her as she applied her balm onto my cheek.

She returned to being flustered after she realized all my attention was on her. "I-I mean! Um…I can…I can help you. They'll listen to reason, s-so I'll tell them the truth. And..I can protect you…on your way home."

_Protect me_. I kept quiet, staring at her. I was examining her again, not knowing exactly what I was trying to get out of it. Maybe I was waiting for some devil horns to grow out of her forehead. Or maybe I was waiting for a sneer that told me she was really just a sly kunoichi who was going to lead me back to the angry mob. Maybe she was going to let out another trapped laughter that told me she was just joking. Then I'd just laugh with her. Everyone just seemed to love making a fool out of me. And who could possibly be this concerned for Naruto Uzumaki?

But no. Several minutes passed, and none of those happened. The only things there were her lavender eyes that always showed good intentions…and her warm skin that seemed to glow under the moonlight…and her dark indigo hair that looked smooth to the touch…and her lips that looked…

I mentally slapped myself before I thought of anything more. This wasn't the aphrodisiac talking or anything. It was all me. Man, Hinata can really make you think.

"I'd…I'd like that," I replied. _Heh, you're really something else, Hinata._

Then I remembered what I meant to tell her before Shikamaru interrupted me. "So hey…"

"Hi…" She kept tending to my cheek, a bandage in the process of being placed on it. I wish she looked at me in the eyes again.

"You should know that…that time…in the war…"

She finished bandaging. Her cheeks grew redder, but she still didn't look at me directly.

"From that moment…I became stronger."

"N-No. You were always strong, Naruto-kun. I was…just reminding you."

I chuckled. "I had a feeling you were going to say that. But I'm being honest!" I decided to stay quiet. I left it as a cliffhanger so she knew to look at me for her to hear the rest. Finally, she slowly raised her eyes to meet mine. I gave her a smile before I continued, "I didn't know that I could be as strong as I was, what with all the people who died around me. I failed to protect them." I paused. I gave a moment of silence and thought to all the precious people who fought to their death. Then there was that image of Hinata slapping me. "But...you told me that the least I could do was to fight for my family until the very end. So I did. And I grew stronger...for everyone."

Hinata smiled shyly.

"Thanks for telling me that we're a family. Haha, you're like the wife – always got my back!"

She placed a hand on her mouth in surprise.

Realizing what I just said, I did the same. "Ah! Uh…not just my back, you had everyone's! You protected all of us with your life!" _What the hell, I sound like an idiot._

"N-Naruto-kun, I think we should rest if we want…e-enough energy to get you home in the morning!"

_Saved by her magical choice of words again! _"Yeah, yeah! Uhh, so will you be staying here until the morning?"

She shook her head frantically. "N-no. I have to be home t-tonight. Father will…he'll be worried."

"Yes, yes, of course!"

Silence.

Crickets.

For a guy who babbles a lot, I surprisingly had nothing.

"But I'll be back…first thing in the morning."

I grinned and said, "To protect me from the wickedness of Konoha?"

She giggled. I liked it when she giggled. Not just because it diminished the awkward silence, but it made me feel warm inside to know that I got it out of her. And it was a huge change from all the reactions I got from all the other girls today – curses, death threats, scratches, punches, weapons…

Hinata stood up and walked to the door to leave. Her silhouette revealed curves that I've never noticed before. Then I thought, _out of all the girls I saw today, Hinata's the only one I'd actually like to see naked._

It was true. Maybe an unnecessary thought given the circumstances that happened up until now, but nonetheless true. And knowing that there was no placebo to make me think that way made me flustered as hell.

"Good night, Naruto-kun."

"I'll see ya, Hinata!"

_Fuck you, Kiba, Shino…_

Despite my urge to kill them, I couldn't get rid of a growing feeling of gratitude for them. At the end of the day, the silver lining made everything that happened worth it. However messed up things got.

I took a last look at my silver lining before she slid the door shut.

* * *

End.


	4. The Stampede and the Boulder

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto - Masashi Kishimoto does.

**Summary: **After Naruto comes across Shino and Kiba, things start to become hectic. They said Naruto's teenage hormones are going to be out of control. What's he supposed to do now?

**Warning:** Rated **T** for sexual insinuation and language.

* * *

_**Placebo Effect**_

_Chapter 4_

The whole village began to take on a hue of yellow and orange as the setting sun itself turned red. A few shops and stores I've passed by hundreds of times today started to close their doors and windows. Stands placed covers on their merchandizes, but most stocked them back in boxes for the night.

Perhaps it was to prevent them from flying all over the place just like the previous stands I've ran over.

Sadly, I couldn't even apologize to the merchants properly, for if I had, the angry mob of kunoichis and non-kunoichis that were only a few meters behind would seize that chance to get a hold of me.

I had to admit that I've often dreamt of being chased by screaming females because of my _great _looks and _awesome _personality…and my title as Hokage. And they'd only be satisfied once they get their hands on me.

"NARUTO! YOU GET BACK HERE THIS FUCKIN' MINUTE!"

…just not in a _murderous_ way.

The females who were after me were victims of my inappropriate actions – from assuming that they wanted sexual intercourse, to actually making contact with their...um...private areas.

Even the ladies from the hot springs were mad, chasing me around with only towels to cover themselves, assuming that I was a peeping tom when I crashed in during their leisure time. You have to admit, it would have been exciting if they were doing this for a completely different reason.

I was pretty sure that random others joined in just for the heck of it.

I tried to sum up the situation at hand. Obviously, there were more than 30 of them, and only one of me. At least 5 I knew, including Sakura-chan and Ino, were ANBU members.

_That isn't really fair now, is it?_

They were bound to catch up at anytime soon. I just needed to sneak back home…no. _Sakura-chan knows where I live._ Of all the places, my apartment would be one of the top choices to look into first.

_And I just cleaned the place (surprisingly). I wouldn't want them to barge in and trash it._

I leaped up to the roof of the building next to me, not wanting to involve anymore innocent people. I leaped carefully this time, fearing that another roof might give away, and then I'd fall into someone's bathroom while they're bathing themselves like last time.

I couldn't help but twitch _down there _at the memory of a wet Tenten surrounded in steam.

_Urges, urges, URGES!_ _How can I think this way at a time like this!?_

It seemed that the aphori-… aphrida-…aphro-… whatever it is that I drank wasn't going to wear off anytime soon.

I turned around in mid-air to see if somehow, miraculously, some of them gave up the chase. I noticed that only kunoichis were following me now. The rest didn't have the ability to leap up to the roofs.

Sakura was visibly raging, almost threatening to burst into flames. Her hand was raised, clenched, and ready to pummel me down to hell. "NARUTO!"

As I turned back around to jump to the next rooftop, a glint of light from the alley below suddenly came to my attention. It was the only warning I had before I successfully moved my head back to prevent the lightning-fast object from beheading me.

"Gah!" It was a Fuuma Shuriken, similar to what Sasuke used in the Hidden Mist Village. I stepped back before it could hit me as it swiftly went back down to its owner.

"Damn it!" It was Tenten who was in the alley, still in her robe. "Will you stop being so difficult and stay still?!"

"Like that's going to happen! I want to _live_!" I pivoted to my right and started leaping again.

_How the hell am I supposed to lose them!? I'm outnumbered! They'd proba-_

Outnumber! Of course!

I wanted to slap myself for not thinking of it sooner. I joined my hands to form my signature hand sign.

"Kage Bunshin No Jutsu!"

Immediately, a hundred clones of myself bursted to existence. As all the clones and I settled to the ground, ready to sprint, I gave them the signal. "Split!" They all disappeared to different directions as I quickly hid behind one of the most basic ninja equipments – a wallpaper.

I heard confused and irritated chatter above me.

Sakura, who has already lost her cool, growled in frustration. "Just split up and take them all down!"

The ground almost shook as they dispersed in unison.

After a few more seconds of waiting, I decided that it was safe to leave as well, tossing aside the wallpaper.

It was only a matter of minutes until those girls finish off the batch of clones. There once was a time when Sakura alone took down a set of 50 clones from all around the village in just 5 minutes. Of course, she was absolutely furious at that time, too. She left me by the river, beaten & bruised.

I shuddered at the memory. _If I don't find a good place to hide soon, it's positive that I'll end up being worse than that_.

I looked around, hoping to find the best hideout. It didn't really matter how uncomfortable I'd be in it. _It's only going to be for the rest of the day._

The concrete floor below me suddenly erupted in an earthquake. A cat meowed wildly and pots banged and clattered as I struggled to keep my balance. A few dishes were shattered in the building next to me.

_Maybe a few more weeks after, too…just to be safe._

I started thinking about the amount of instant ramen I would have needed to bring with me until I heard a set of footsteps behind me. I automatically hid behind the shadows of an alley.

"Naruto?"

_Too late._

Fortunately, the voice didn't sound like it came from a female. I turned to look around the building from the shadows. It was Chouji, carrying with him a large pot of his dinner, wrapped in a cloth.

He walked towards me and greeted brightly, "Hey, Naruto! What are you hiding there for?"

"SHHH!" I looked around.

No signs of the mob were found. "Chouji, you know about the angry mob of girls, don't you?"

"Oh, yeah! They look like a bunch of raging bulls about to take down the whole village." He chuckled nervously. "Heh, I'd hate to be the guy who pissed them off."

"That's just it!" I sighed. "_I'm_ the guy who made them mad."

I suddenly winced. I just received the memories of one of my clones.

It was NOT pretty.

"Oh. What did you do?"

I blushed as I struggled to find a way to explain. It wasn't often that these kinds of things happen, so I never thought about how I would explain such a situation. "Well, I…It's sort of a long story. Right now, I'm trying to find a good place to – "

An epiphany struck me. I stared at Chouji, as if I just witnessed a miracle.

He shifted uncomfortably as he received my full attention. "Um…do I have something on my face?" He started rubbing his cheek to check.

I relaxed a bit and put on my best smile. "Chouji, ol' buddy, ol' pal, my home skillet biscuit, my main man!" Even _I_ couldn't believe I said something like that. _Well I'd do anything right now, just to find me a good place to stay…_

His face showed me he knew I was about to ask him a huge favor. "Uhhh…"

"You wouldn't mind if I stay at your place, would you?" _Please, oh please!_

"The Akimichi estates? I don't know…"

"C'mon, you have to have some kind of guest house or _something_, right?" _RIGHT!?_

"Well, all six of them are currently occupied, so no can do."

I wasn't about to give up. "Chouji," I growled, grabbing his shoulders in desperation, "I _need_ a place to stay! You've got to help me out here!" I shook him to show just how much I was being serious.

It wasn't the best idea, however. He lost his grip of his dinner.

Everything seemed to be in slow motion as we both watched the cloth unwrap itself in midair, the pot uncovering, spilling the steaming contents onto Chouji's legs and the ground. The pot made a loud clanking noise on the ground & rolled to his foot.

The worst part of it was that his dinner was none other than Ichiraku's ramen.

I let go of his shoulders. His mouth was gaping, not believing what he saw, and didn't seem to care that the food was nearly burning his skin. I thought he was about to cry when he flashed an expression for the slightest moment, but it was quickly replaced by a glare.

The phrase "if looks could kill" suddenly came to mind.

I waved my hands in front of me. "Ch-Chouji, it was an accident!"

But we all knew that a cranky baby is a hungry baby…and vice versa. No reasoning would make it better. "NARUTOOOOOOO!"

A loud murmur from around us erupted.

"Quick! Follow that voice!"

I was uncovered.

I ran before Chouji could crush me with his already enlarged hands full of chakra. _This isn't happening! Now I have Chouji after me, too!_

"NARUTOOO! You get back here!" He roared.

"He's running away!"

"Hurry it up, girls!"

"Chouji, will you at least keep it down!?" I pleaded, even though I knew it wasn't going to happen.

"That was my dinner, Narutoooo! _ICHIRAKU RAMEN, NARUTO!_"

He had a point. That ramen was to die for.

As I was about to leap up again, a sudden blow from above prevented me from reaching my destination. Instead, I landed hard onto the ground from midair. The earth exploded below me from the impact.

"I got'cha." Sakura snarled.

_Damn it…they found me._

As I lifted myself off of the crater I made, I found myself surrounded by Chouji, the kunoichis, the other civilians who didn't back down on the chase after all, and the damaged wall behind me. Sakura stepped up from the group, her stare and smile menacing. "Fun and games are over, _Naruto_," she said, her tone reminding me of Orochimaru. I swore I saw her lick her lips the way he did, too. "Any last words?"

My pride prevented me from saying the sanest thing to say at that point.

And just when my pride was decreasing rapidly from the suspense of getting killed, another voice from a newcomer caused everybody else to turn and see who it belonged to.

"Naruto-kun?"

And that was all it took to buy me some time.

I sprung up before I, myself, found out who my savior was. I used Kage Bunshin and separated ourselves like a firework once again. I ran until their voices (and Sakura's roaring) were barely audible.

It shouldn't take long this time to find a hiding spot. And this time, I wasn't going to ask anybody for a place. Instead, I'd ask myself…as if I was the strongest, smartest, and stealthiest ninja in the village – the Hokage.

_So, if I were the Hokage…where would I go?_

I looked at every possible direction until my eyes finally caught something large; something conspicuous, glorious, and magnificently large, yet unpredictable.

The Hokage monument.

It was _perfect_.

Memories of my clones came back to me one by one, often 3 at a time. The rate of which they were disappearing were even faster than before.

I ran. I ran like it was my whole life's only purpose. _I'm going to make it!_

I reached the entrance at the base of the monument. I pivoted to my left, remembering the way to the top, right behind the faces. _Those girls would never think of looking here!_

I finally slowed down to a stop.

It was almost completely dark, a dim light from the entrance still enabled me to see only half of the room.

I was safe here. I sighed in relief, ready to let myself fall flat on the ground.

"Naruto…"

…Or so I thought. Tenten stepped out from my side, the darkest corner of the room. Others did the same.

Tenten slipped out a kunai from her robe, taking it to her mouth and slowly licking it sadistically.

I turned to leave, but the rest of the pack led by Sakura emerged, blocking the entrance.

Her eyes held no mercy.

"You know," Sakura said, "I just had this gut feeling that you'd be in the monument. So I told some to wait inside this place before you even thought of hiding in here." She was practically hissing, enunciating each word behind her teeth.

_So much for being unpredictable_.

They were slowly closing in on me. "W-well, that's impressive Sakura-chan! I-I mean that's what I'd expect from a smart, awesome, beautiful, and _incredibly_ _strong_ person like you!"

"_Shut up_, Naruto. You can't talk your way out of this." She cracked her knuckles, prepared to knock the living crap out of me.

"Please, Sakura-chan…" This time, it was entirely fear that prevented me to say the sanest thing. Well, it would've happened sooner or later (yet that fact didn't help much either).

What I didn't expect, however, was the same voice – the one of my savior from before – calling out my name…

"Naruto-kun!"

A flicker of hope came to me, only to be taken away by another stranger landing beside me from the ceiling. A blow on the base of my nape was the last thing my mind processed before I fell into total darkness.

* * *

**TBC**

No, I'm not trying to bash characters here...just exaggerating some personalities of theirs for the benefit of the author/story. Haha.

By the way, Naruto should be around 17 or 18 in here.

**Next Chapter**: This one switches to Hinata's perspective again. The reason I'm not placing this chapter with the one from above is because of this pet peeve I have (and I only recently found out what it actually means, haha). I really don't like it when points of view change in the middle of the chapter, and then they put the notice "Naruto's POV" and then "End of Naruto's POV" or "Sasuke's POV" and all that humbug. I'd rather have it in the next chapter instead.

And that's actually the challenging part in here. It's in 1st person, yet it's different characters. It would have been easier if I started with the 3rd person omnicient point of view, right? Well, too late now.

And so, I promise: Next Chapter focused on Hinata & Naruto, ok?

Enjoyed it? Want to see what happens? I'll be willing to tell you more if I get some nice reviews ;) Constructive criticisms are also appreciated.

Thank you to those who have been reviewing, it really does help.

**EDIT:** Next chapter is still Naruto's POV. Sorry guys! But it's still NaruHina.


	5. The Fox and the Rabbit

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto - Masashi Kishimoto does.

**Summary: **After Naruto comes across Shino and Kiba, things start to become hectic. They said Naruto's teenage hormones are going to be out of control. What's he supposed to do now?

**Warning:** Rated **T** for sexual insinuation and language.

* * *

"Naruto-kun…"

I slowly opened my eyes to find out that I was sitting on a throne, topless, and resting on my chest was…well, me. The sexy-jutsu version – in all her naked glory, on top of me, and seducing me with a grin. I couldn't help but think, _Damn. I'm so good, even I'm tempted_.

Tempted. Right as that last word rung in my head, memories of the prior events came to me, and at that moment, the sexy-jutsu Naruto's grin turned into a grimace. Her hands quickly latched around my neck, squeezing the air from me. All my hands would do was to try getting hers off of mine, but they only became tighter. As my vision was succumbing to darkness, my tormentor slithered to my ear to whisper.

"Naruto-kun."

The throne I sat on started to fall back.

I suddenly got up to the feeling of falling, but before I could be relieved from knowing that it was all just a dream, my head collided with someone else's. "OW!" We both yelled.

Geez, why does the universe seem to want me in pain? I looked up, hands still on my throbbing forehead, to see who my companion was. It took a while for my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting of the room. The figure finally decided to look up.

"Hinata!"

"I-I'm so sorry, Naruto-kun! I was just…just about to apply an ointment on your cheek," she showed the ointment that was already in her hand as if to prove her words true.

"An ointment? How come?" I tried to feel my left cheek, then my right one immediately after, and sure enough, the cheek stung as my hand came into contact with it. I looked at the hand to find not just blood from my cheek, but also a bandaged wrist. _The hell? _Tracing my arm to my body, my eyes settled down to the lower portion of my torso, also surrounded with bandage. I looked to Hinata's direction and spotted small piles of used healing equipment, some of which were covered with blood. "Kami, what happened to me!?"

"Umm…" She hesitated. She was trying to look for the right words to describe such a bizarre incident. Who could blame her? No one ever thought a day would come when every girl in Konoha would go on a rampage over me. "Well, Tenten-san...she knocked you unconscious. That allowed the girls t-to beat you around for a bit."

I winced at the thought of my poor unconscious body being treated as a free-for-all punching bag. I'm actually glad Tenten knocked me out; otherwise I would have had to experience all the torture. I looked around frantically. "Where did they all go? How did I get here?"

Her eyes shifted to her palms, which were now on her lap. "Lucky for you, a few of the boys showed up…before every girl had a chance to harm you. Shikamaru-san took you in here. I-it's one of the Nara's guest rooms."

"Do any of the girls know I'm here?"

She decided to look at me. "As far as I know…I don't think so."

All my muscles released their tension. I don't remember the last time I was this relieved. "Where are the guys who saved me?"

"Shikamaru-san went to umm…to deliver your scroll and buy Chouji-san some dinner. Everyone else went home."

"Except you," I said, a bit confused as to why she stayed.

Even though the room was only lit by a small candle and the moonlight that shone through the open walls beside me, I could still see Hinata's trademark blush appearing. She looked down onto her lap. I realized then that she probably decided to take care of me, which only made sense; none of the guys probably held any interest in doing the chore. And Hinata was…well, she was her – always caring, always nurturing. I couldn't help but smile. "Thanks, Hinata."

"Not yet…" She reached out her fingers that were now covered with her healing balm. "I missed a spot," she said, her blush only increasing.

I let her fingers do as they wanted. I flinched a bit as the mint-like balm stung my cheek. Upon giving me a concerned look, I gave Hinata a reassuring one.

"If…If it's not too intruding, may I ask what…um…" She continued tending to my cheek.

"What the hell all _that_ was about?" I chuckled. She smiled as if she was embarrassed for me – her first smile of the night. "Long story short, I saw Kiba and Shino, and after Kiba dared me to drink something terrible, I've been…" My eyes grew wider. I quickly looked away from Hinata, leaving her work unfinished. _Shit. How could I forget! I'm not supposed to be around…_

"Naruto-kun?"

"Gahh!" I gripped onto my hair in frustration. _How could I forget that Hinata's a girl? I should go…_ "Hinata, I-" _No. That would be rude. How could I leave after she gave me medical attention? She'd be offended. But if I stayed…God knows what I'd do or say to her…then she'd be more offended._

"H-hey, what is it?" She sounded really concerned, which really did touch my heart.

_Touch…No, not innocent Hinata! But where the hell would I go if I do leave? This is the perfect place to hide from everyone – or rather, every girl…but Hinata's here! _"Gahh!" _What do I tell her?_

"Naruto-kun, do you need anything?" She touched my shoulder.

I flinched at the light gesture. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Oh, um…sorry." She immediately pulled away.

I looked up apologetically. "No no, It's not you Hinata, Kiba and Shino did this to me!"

"Did what?"

"Uhhhhh…" _Should I tell her? _I examined her moonlit face, looking for some sign, _any_ sign that things could go wrong if I told her. She began to blush again, but her eyes were looking at me with honest concern. _It's just Hinata, she's anything BUT bad…_I sighed in surrender. _Here goes._ "They made me drink…this thing..."

That got her attention. "What is it?"

"Some aphor…aphra…disc….thing." Her mouth opened in shock. "You know what I'm talking about?"

"An aphrodisiac? Are you sure?"

"If it's the thing that makes you…umm…as Shino said, have urges," I said, doing the quote in quote thing, "…then yeah."

Hinata closed her mouth and placed her hands on her cheeks. She was looking away now. "S-So…those girls…you…all of them…?"

I waved my hands in front of me frantically in denial, "No, no, no, no, no, no!" My voice cracked a bit. "I didn't do anything funny to them! I swear – all I tried to do was go home to avoid _any_ girl. But some…_cosmos_ guy out there thought it'd be funny if I accidentally encountered all of them inappropriately. So that's what happened…"

Hinata kept staring at the floor, wide-eyed and red cheeks hand-covered.

"…they were all accidents! And the aphrodisc just made the situations worse…" _Who am I kidding?_ I looked down, almost in disappointment. Hinata probably didn't want to hear it. It sounded like I was just making excuses, and that I was really just a big pervert.

Who could blame her?

"Sorry Hinata, I really should just get goi-"

"Aphrodisiac."

I looked at her. Between her hands that were still on her face was a small smile.

"It's pronounced 'aphrodisiac'. And I'm sorry that…all that happened."

"Aphrodisiac. Thanks Hinata." I was sure she knew that I wasn't thanking her for the pronunciation. I gave her a smile of appreciation in return.

She placed her hands down and placed an index finger on her chin. She looked like a cute thinking machine. "Well, if…if you'd like me to go, I could. And I'll do what I can to explain it to the girls s-so…they wouldn't think to…to form another angry mob."

"Hah!" I smiled even bigger, which I shouldn't have done as it opened the wounds on my cheek. I hissed at the pain as blood dripped down to my torso. "Man, talk about a cat fight – it's like the girls grew claws!"

Hinata immediately took a small towel and dipped it in a tub of water. She wrung the water out and gently placed the towel on my face. "Hold this, Naruto-kun." I did as she told me. She took another towel and performed the same routine. She was about to wipe the blood off of my chest but stopped at the last second. I looked at her confusingly, not knowing why she turned even redder. "S-Sorry, I'm babying you. Here." She held the towel in front of me.

I blushed a little at the thought of Hinata touching my bare chest. But then again, she already wrapped the bandage around me, which meant she had to have had contact with my naked torso already. I grinned as I decided to tease her a bit, slowly rejecting the towel. "Nah, I like it when you take care of me, Hinata. You just got this…magic touch, ya know? I mean look at what you've done so far," I pointed to my bandaged areas. "I barely feel any pain!"

"If…If you say so, Naruto-kun." She proceeded to wipe the blood away. And even though my face was angled to look at my body, my eyes were directed at her face. I stared all the while. I remembered the last time she was this close to me – it was during the Ninja War against Madara and Obito…she held my cheek, trying to knock some sense back into my head.

Thinking about it never fails to give me this overwhelming feeling of gratitude, because the memory reminded me of all those other times she tried saving me from my feelings of impending doom. That's right – the Chuunin written test, the Neji fight…when my mind's so busy and pressured from all the Hokage-in-training duties, I sometimes find myself thinking back to those memories. And then I think about her.

_Does Hinata know how awesome she is? _"Do you know how awesome you are?"

We both looked at each other with surprised gazes. _Did I just say that out loud?_ She looked away and brought the towel to the ground, finished with wiping off the blood. "W-what makes you say that?"

I scratched the back of my head in embarrassment. "Sorry, I was just thinking. You really know how to help a poor soul out, huh." She pointed to herself questioningly. "Haha, yeah you! I mean, you always seem to know just what to say and what to do to keep me from going downhill."

"I…umm…" Hinata's index fingers decided to dance around each other. "It's really nothing." She was being shy again.

I felt a bit heartbroken that she didn't seem to give herself the same credit, if any at all. I took one of her hands and placed it on the towel on my cheek. The same hand on the same cheek during that moment in the war. "Do you remember this?"

Her eyes widened, shocked at my actions. But she didn't pull away. "R-remember what?"

I looked right into her eyes. "When I was so shocked about Neji's death…when I thought that I was going to lose everyone the same way we lost him at the war…when I thought there was nothing we could do, and that giving up seemed like a better choice…then this happened. Remember?"

"I…yes."

She looked like she was threatening to faint, but her stare never faltered. It's a bit of a surprise that Hinata still kept her eyes on mine. I've never had the chance to look at them for this long; she always looked away before. Well, we did lock gazes during that moment, too, when she was trying to help me from being swallowed by fear…fear of losing my precious people. Her gaze was intense then, and it felt like it was lighting my insides on fire.

I had doubted myself, especially when what we were facing were the most powerful beings the earth could offer as villains of humanity. That time…she didn't remind me of my strength, no. I didn't know my strength. She told me that I shouldn't give up, and that alone made me stronger.

And I wanted her to know that.

"Hina-"

"Oi, I'm coming in, you guys better not be doing anything funny there."

_Shikamaru._

Hinata let out a small gasp and pulled her hand and her gaze away. The feeling of her skin under my palm was replaced by the towel on my cheek again. _Damn Shikamaru_. I glared at the sliding doors that he was behind in. "We're not sex hogs like you and Ino, baka."

He opened the door, came in, and slid it shut behind him. "Look who's talking. It's like it was mating season today in Konoha, and you somehow wooed every girl in town. Even my girlfriend's! Attention stealer. Tsk, troublesome."

I stood up and pointed at him in accusation. "You were the one who started all of it! If you just let me leave and did Ino's errands instead of being a lazy-ass, you guys would be having the night of your life right now, and I'd be home eating my ramen in peace!"

He sat down on the floor and scratched his head. "Calm your ass cheeks. I'm already making it up to you by letting you stay here for however long you need..."

I sat back down, crossing both my legs and arms. "Free food?"

"As troublesome as that is, yes."

"Good. Thank you," I straightened my back mockingly, "and I pardon you."

"Alright, high-and-mighty, but seriously, when will you be getting out of here?"

"Whenever the _aphrodisiac_ wears off." I made sure to say the word slower for Hinata to hear. I smiled upon hearing her giggle to the side.

"Aphrodisiac? How powerful is it?"

I shrugged. "Shino made it sound like it was going to be hell. Especially because he said it didn't work for his bugs, and his bugs are more immune to it."

"Are you talking about that old aphrodisiac that he was carrying back to the Aburame clan?" He asked.

"I guess that's what it was." Shikamaru just looked at me blankly. Then he slapped his forehead. "W-what?"

Sighing, he said, "Kami, Konoha's going down the drain with you."

"Hey! What are you trying to say!?"

"If you bothered to read the report you were delivering, which isn't even classified, allowing you, the future Hokage, to know what the hell is going on around here in the village, you'd find out that _that_ aphrodisiac is a fucking placebo!"

"A...a what?"

"Pfft!" I looked at Hinata, a bit shocked that the sound of trapped laughter came from her. She was now holding her lips shut.

Shikamaru held his temples with his fingers. "In other words, there's no point in you staying here. You can leave in the morning."

Panic once again invaded my head. "Wait, wait! Those girls will still be after me!"

"But at least you can look them in the eye without the threat of a boner." He stood back up and headed towards the door. "I honestly have no idea how you can stand this kid, Hinata."

"Woah wait, are you serious? Where are you going!?"

"I'm serious. I'm done. I'm gonna smoke. Good night." And with that, he shut the door, and he walked away.

I turned to Hinata. "What the hell is a placebo!?"

"Naruto-kun, a placebo is…is something people are given to affect the way they think. They're fooled into thinking that it works but…but really, it doesn't do anything."

My heart can't take all this shock in one day. "You've gotta be kidding…"

I stood up and slowly turned to look at moon between the sliding doors. I can see a face on it. It was laughing.

It was laughing at my stupidity.

I was furious. "I WAS FOOLED!?" I turned back to Hinata. "But…but there was chocolate in it!"

Her face shied away, as if scared to talk anymore. "Um…chocolates are also known to be…placebos…"

I stared at her blankly, and I just stood there. I stood there and waited for Hinata or Shikamaru to tell me that _they _were just kidding. I waited for the ground to swallow me whole. I waited for time to reverse to the moment I saw Kiba and Shino. But Hinata and Shikamaru aren't the type joke like that. And the ground will stay still unless an earth-element shinobi made it move. And time never goes back – just forward.

And Naruto Uzumaki is more likely to be a fool than for any of those to happen.

I sighed in defeat as my knees and hands collapsed to the ground.

The soft noises of the crickets were all that remained. I couldn't wrap my mind around what just happened. I didn't know what to think. It was so quiet I could hear something drip on the floor.

"Ah! Your cheek!" Hinata took my hand that was still holding the towel and held it back onto my cheek. Apparently, it was still bleeding.

I sniffled. "No use, Hinata. I'm just going to get my ass kicked again tomorrow!" _Once I go back out there, it'll be hell on earth all over again_. "They can't just forget something like that; they still need to satisfy their sadistic sense of justice towards what I accidentally did..."

"No. I won't let that happen."

Again. Hinata was full of surprises tonight. I simply looked at her as she applied her balm onto my cheek.

She returned to being flustered after she realized all my attention was on her. "I-I mean! Um…I can…I can help you. They'll listen to reason, s-so I'll tell them the truth. And..I can protect you…on your way home."

_Protect me_. I kept quiet, staring at her. I was examining her again, not knowing exactly what I was trying to get out of it. Maybe I was waiting for some devil horns to grow out of her forehead. Or maybe I was waiting for a sneer that told me she was really just a sly kunoichi who was going to lead me back to the angry mob. Maybe she was going to let out another trapped laughter that told me she was just joking. Then I'd just laugh with her. Everyone just seemed to love making a fool out of me. And who could possibly be this concerned for Naruto Uzumaki?

But no. Several minutes passed, and none of those happened. The only things there were her lavender eyes that always showed good intentions…and her warm skin that seemed to glow under the moonlight…and her dark indigo hair that looked smooth to the touch…and her lips that looked…

I mentally slapped myself before I thought of anything more. This wasn't the aphrodisiac talking or anything. It was all me. Man, Hinata can really make you think.

"I'd…I'd like that," I replied. _Heh, you're really something else, Hinata._

Then I remembered what I meant to tell her before Shikamaru interrupted me. "So hey, Hinata..."

"Hi…" She kept tending to my cheek, a bandage in the process of being placed on it. I wish she looked at me in the eyes again.

"You should know that…that time…in the war…"

She finished bandaging. Her cheeks grew redder, but she still didn't look at me directly.

"From that moment…I became stronger."

"N-No. You were always strong, Naruto-kun. I was…just reminding you."

I chuckled. "I had a feeling you were going to say that. But I'm being honest!" I decided to stay quiet. I left it as a cliffhanger so she knew to look at me for her to hear the rest. Finally, she slowly raised her eyes to meet mine. I gave her a smile before I continued, "I didn't know that I could be as strong as I was, what with all the people who died around me. I failed to protect them." I paused. I gave a moment of silence and thought to all the precious people who fought to their death. Then there was that image of Hinata slapping me. "But...you told me that the least I could do was to fight for my family until the very end. So I did. And I grew stronger...for everyone."

Hinata smiled shyly.

"Thanks for telling me that we're a family. Haha, you're like the wife – always got my back!"

She placed a hand on her mouth in surprise.

Realizing what I just said, I did the same. "Ah! Uh…not just my back, you had everyone's! You protected all of us with your life!" _What the hell, I sound like an idiot._

"N-Naruto-kun, I think we should rest if we want…e-enough energy to get you home in the morning!"

_Saved by her magical choice of words again! _"Yeah, yeah! Uhh, so will you be staying here until the morning?"

She shook her head frantically. "N-no. I have to be home t-tonight. Father will…he'll be worried."

"Yes, yes, of course!"

Silence.

Crickets.

For a guy who babbles a lot, I surprisingly had nothing.

"But I'll be back…first thing in the morning."

I grinned and said, "To protect me from the wickedness of Konoha?"

She giggled. I liked it when she giggled. Not just because it diminished the awkward silence, but it made me feel warm inside to know that I got it out of her. And it was a huge change from all the reactions I got from all the other girls today – curses, death threats, scratches, punches, weapons…

Hinata stood up and walked to the door to leave. Her silhouette revealed curves that I've never noticed before. Then I thought, _out of all the girls I saw today, Hinata's the only one I'd actually like to see naked._

It was true. Maybe an unnecessary thought given the circumstances that happened up until now, but nonetheless true. And knowing that there was no placebo to make me think that way made me flustered as hell.

"Good night, Naruto-kun."

"I'll see ya, Hinata!"

_Fuck you, Kiba, Shino…_

Despite my urge to kill them, I couldn't get rid of a growing feeling of gratitude for them. At the end of the day, the silver lining made everything that happened worth it. However messed up things got.

I took a last look at my silver lining before she slid the door shut.

* * *

End.


End file.
